I often find myself getting overzealous about tutoring writing. every time a friend lets me know they have a paper due, i am dying to ask them to come in. i refrain because we certainly have plenty of clients and i'm always afraid they will read into it as having the underlying assumption of "I'm a better writer than you". my boyfriend has had to deal with this urge to help everyone the most. he showed me his exam from his pls class, frustrated because he missed a 3.5 by 1 point. i looked it over and noticed that he has lost 5 points on the essay section. i read through his essay and noticed that it was extremely disorganized and he had lost points not because he didn't know the information, but because he had forgotten to address parts of the question. i quickly launched into a whole lecture about how he should've made an outline before writing his answer in essay form and how he should have began the essay with so and so and how he should have ended with so and so. he was annoyed to say the least. he could have gotten full credit on the next exam on the essay section, if he had listened. but he didn't; he didn't get full credit either. the whole situation was so frustrating because he was directly refusing my help, despite the fact that he knew i was right. showing him my exam, on which my essay almost word-for-word matched my professor's example that he gave us after the test to show us what he wanted, and on which i recieved extra credit because it brilliantly answered the question (i'm just kidding =]), didn't help very much. i think the biggest problem is that he is the most annoyingly obstinate person i've ever met, on top of the fact that i was trying to force my help on him, rather than kindly offering and waiting for him to accept. i would never approach a writing center conference this way, so i don't know why i try to with him. i am well aware of the fact that clients have the absolute right to argue and refuse to take our suggestions and i have no problem with that. with my boyfriend, he finally vocalized to me today that he was taking my suggestions as an assumption that he didn't know how to write and that he couldn't get good grades on his papers. he has a paper due, quite soon (arg), for that same pls class. i am very familiar with the US congress, i love politics, my major is political theory and constitutional democracy, and i know the writing process- and the questions to ask to guide people through the writing process efficiently. i keep asking him if hes started it, picked a topic, thought at all about it- he keeps saying no, and that he doesn't want my help. i just wish i could make him realize that i can help him brainstorm, start his writing, even pick a topic! i never told him that he couldn't write- i never even knew that he was taking my suggestions that way.
i just wish that i could help him start without being a nagging girlfriend or an annoying writing center tutor outside of the center. i love talking to other writing center tutors about everything i write now because even the presence of another set of eyes is incredibly useful. other people see things differently, and that is invaluable when communicating through writing because there is an absence of tone and facial expression that may help express meaning in speech. i don't think i'm a bad writer who needs "help" because i lack ability, i just value the power of someone else's perceptions. the paper is stressing him out because he can't get started- my exact problem almost every time i get a writing assignment. through working at the writing center, i've learned techniques to do that- to just get started. how can i help him do that without making him think that i think he can't write?? i guess i've taken for granted the fact that the clients who come into the center are there because they trust us, and because they want to be better writers. i don't have a problem with him not being the best writer he could be, i have a problem with the fact that he is ok with not being the best writer he could be. he accepts mediocrity quite often in the academic setting, he just doesn't care enough to try harder. is this the writing center tutor in me getting frustrated with this attitude or is it just a fundamental difference in our approach to school and to life?
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2 comments:
You got overzealous?
I think this is a really interesting post! A couple thoughts:
1. Maybe showing him how you get feedback from others will help. This might mean asking him for feedback on your writing or dropping the hint that you are using the WC as a client. (e.g. "My WC appointment for my lit paper is at 12 so can we meet for lunch a little after 1 instead?" lol I feel like I am writing a magazine column)
2. Have you read any of the Princeton Review test prep books? They write in this way that appealed to me as a test-taker and I think is a good model for consulting. Basically, they say there's nothing "correct" about their strategies; they are just effective for getting a good score. Maybe this would persuade your bf: following the way the prof writes is not "better," but it will earn him a better grade. The whole sort of... we are in cahoots against those bad assessors is something I find to be really effective. And it's honest too: professors have their preferences that are not necessarily "better," right?
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