I turned this exercise in as a paper but it was supposed to be on the blog apparently so i'm posting it now =]

Writing Concerns
Studying Constitutional Law (or any law for that matter), which I naively decided to attempt my first semester at college, requires a very keen eye. Changing one word in a sentence can dramatically alter the meaning of not just that sentence, but the entire block of evidence or an entire opinion of a case. Luckily, I was always very observant and I was able to quickly adapt to the specific way a lawyer reads a Supreme Court opinion or the evidence of a case at trial. My professor loved me because I caught on so quick to the tricks so often used in court. I love to play with words, learn new words, and swap words endlessly with their synonyms until they fit perfectly in context. Sometimes I feel like the ridiculous rules of English grammar came programmed in my head so I never had to go through the grueling process of learning each and every one. Needless to say, I cannot personally relate to ESL writers or writers with disabilities. I am confident, however, that I am good enough at relating to people in general that I can handle a tutoring session with one of these types as a client.
My best friend, God help her, loves to skip words as she types. She thinks faster than her fingers move and her brain auto-corrects the sentences when she reads the paper, silently or aloud. I was horrified when I looked at a paper her teacher had labeled with an A+ in view of the fact that my eyes located several incomplete sentences right in the first paragraph. Apparently that teacher was looking for ideas rather than correct grammar, but she didn’t even mention that the mistakes were there! Danielle was defensive when I mentioned this discrepancy at first, but over time she realized just how imperative it was that she learn to write properly. She e-mails me many things she writes, from letters to literary analysis papers, begging me to find these mistakes because for some odd reason her brain can’t. In helping her, I’ve learned a lot about tutoring when disabilities are present.
As far as personal concerns that affect writing go, I can relate to no end. I’ve been-there-done-that a thousand times over when it comes to juggling the crazy class schedule, fights with the boyfriend, family crises, overtime hours at a job, physical medical problems, and underlying psychological problems. My high school career was defined by classes that were overwhelming to start with and only got worse when combined with others that were equally as demanding. On top of that, I am a workaholic. I would rather be making money developing photos of weddings, vacations, and new puppies at CVS than anything because my greatest love in life just happens to be spending that money at a later date (and sometimes an earlier date thanks to the plastic era). I also forgot what it was like to get along with my family years ago, around the time I was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes. Throughout all of these skirmishes, regardless of the stress level, I surprisingly retained the ability to painstakingly produce good writing. In fact, sometimes I purposely procrastinated because I seemed to be on fire when time was running out. My greatest demon was the psychological problem that appeared, quite unexpectedly, near the end of my junior year of high school.
The age of onset for Borderline Personality Disorder is typically early adulthood, right in the midst of high school graduation and relocation into the world of higher education. I have always been a good student (an amazing one actually) and for some unexplained reason I began experiencing fits of uncontrollable rage and emotion, attacks of impulsivity during which I would literally eat anything within sight or charge hundreds of dollars to my dad’s credit card from online shopping sites, terribly messed-up sleeping patterns, and an absolute inability to sit down and concentrate for longer than 30 seconds. My dad configured explanation after explanation from hormones to bipolar disorder to PTSD in response to being raped in March of that year, but nothing was sufficient. I lost not only the ability to write, but the ability to function as a successful human being. Crying for hours on end, I tried to write in a journal but no words would come. From being the student with the most potential in my school of 6,000 students, I withered into near non-existence in the academic world. I came very close to failing out of school completely, and I felt like all I could do was skip class and smoke weed. I didn’t fail; I pushed myself to the very edge of sanity and miraculously managed to maintain most of my grades and graduate #1 in my class.
I finally got diagnosed with Borderline in the very end of my senior year. Borderline is a terrible mental disorder and it tormented me in all aspects of my life, but most devastatingly, it shattered my ability to form creative thought, and therefore, to write. With a diagnosis, I was able to address the issue and more importantly, find a medication that would alleviate the symptoms enough so that I could once again be considered my teachers’ best pupil. I have had to learn, adapt, and grow an enormous amount in the last year, and I feel as if I can accomplish any task before me as long as I keep my disorder at bay. My experience was not enjoyable- it was gruesome. Through it, however, I learned how to empathize with anyone suffering a psychological disorder and as a tutor I will hopefully be able to guide them to the light at the end of their tunnel. (I apologize for the cliché) The writing process in itself can be scary and overwhelming, but when the simplest of tasks seems daunting, writing becomes a monster that is impossible to strike.
I certainly don’t expect that I will meet any students disturbed by personal concerns to this extent, but I will be ready if I do!